YESTERDAY The night was dark, warn and secretive, Brie Canfield thought as she opened the casement windows. She took great, heaving gulps of the honeysuckle-scented air, but it didn't help to alleviate the terrible nightmare she'd just experienced. Behind her, the air conditioner whirred and wheezed, a sign the filter needed to be changed. The room was dark too because she hadn't changed the light bulb. She hadn't done the dishes or her laundry. For weeks. Maybe months. She simply could not remember. Brie strained to see something in the darkness, something that would reassure her that things were right, normal - and that life was going to be the way it was before. Cars passed, like ghostly blue shadows. Why did they look like that? She should know. Maybe it was important. She swayed, and her grip on the windowsill tightened so that her knuckles literally snapped and crackled. Maybe she needed to eat something - something more substantial than broth and a slice of bread. But the cupboard was bare, the refrigerator empty. She panicked then. That meant she would have to get dressed and go out to the store. She also had to keep her appointment with the Department psychiatrist. Maye she could do both things on the same day. She took in more deep breaths. She started to cry, knowing full well that tears wouldn't help her situation. Unless . . . She backed away from the open window and sat on her bed. Unless . . . she gave in and called Bode Jessup. Bode would know what to say to her to make things right. Bode was - Bode. She should have called him sooner. Why hadn't she? Because he loves Callie Parker, one of my oldest and dearest friends. She tried to pep talk herself, but it wasn't going to work because her stomach was tied in knots and she was sweating profusely, even though the thermostat said it was only 62 degrees in the apartment. She began to weep again because there was nothing else for her to do. She couldn't call now - Bode would hear the tears in her voice. So, what was wrong with him knowing she was upset? Why else would she call him in the middle of the night? Although he might think she had called to talk about Callie Parker's wedding . . . to someone other than himself. So, who cared about that either. Brie's hand stretched out. She didn't need to look up Bode's home phone number even though she carried it on a slip of paper in her wallet. It was the first name in her address book under the A's. She didn't want his name in the middle of the book. Callie's number was right under Bode's and so was Sela's. Her three best friends in the entire world. And she hadn't called any of them. 'I wanted to call them, I really did, but I couldn't,' she sobbed. 'I'm supposed to be the tough one. Callie sweet and pure, gentle and considerate. Sela is an airhead with no equal while Bode is . . . the one with the brain and the compassion. Brie snatched her hand back from the phone, howling her despair. Then the phone was suddenly back in her hand. She punched out the area code followed by Bode's number. While the phone rang, she blew her nose, Five, six, seven rings . . . She was about to hang up when she heard Bode's voice say: 'This better be good, whoever you are, because it's three o' clock in the morning.' 'Bode, it's Brie,' she said, her voice hoarse with all the crying she'd done. 'Brie Canfield, the Brie who's supposed to be my best friend in all the world, the same Brie who says she'll call and write, but doesn't. That Brie?' 'Bode . . .' His voice was altert now, all trace of sleep and mockery gone. 'What's wrong, Brie?' 'Bode . . . ' She was whimpering and she hated herself for it. 'We've established the fact that I'm Bode and I'm here on the other end of the phone. Do you want to hang up and call me back, Brie?' 'Bode...I...Bode, I killed someone. I'm having a real hard time with it.' 'Whoa...don't spring a hit on me like that. Start at the beginning - the very beginning, Brie. We'll talk. It'll be like old times. Two heads are better than one. Come on now, share. I'm listening.' 'It wasn't just someone. It was a boy. He was sixteen. He had a gun and he was going to shoot my partner. I told him to put down his gun, but he didn't. I don't know who was more scared - me or him. We both fired. He...missed. I didn't.' 'And you decided that you're going to take the rap for this, right? Were there any witnesses?' 'Stop talking to me like the lawyer you are and talk to me like my friend. We are still friends aren't we? Of course there we witnesses. The board cleared me. There was a real big stink about it from the boy's parents and friends. They want to transfer me to another precinct. I have to see a shrink once a week and I do, but I can't get a handle on it. I can't sleep and I can't eat. All I do is cry. Do you think I'm having a nervous breakdown? I'm afraid to ask the shrink. That's the shape I'm in.' 'No, you are not having a nervous breakdown. Trust me, Brie. What you need is a good dose of Mamma Pearl. You're coming home for the wedding right? 'Oh God. Probably not.' 'You mean yes, you are. I'll pick you up at the airport. Did they give you a leave of absence? What do you mean you can't eat or sleep?' 'Just what I said. Don't pep talk me, Bode.' 'Do you want me to come out there and bring you back, Brie?' God, yes, she did, but she'd never admit it. 'No, of course not. Bode, I took a life. Kids shouldn't have guns. You should have heard this boys mother. The kid was a saint, an altar boy, tops in his class, a loving son. The truth is the kid was a gang member, so high on crack his brain should have exploded. He didn't go to high school, probably never saw the inside of a church and beat his mother who worked two jobs to support herself and five other kids. I killed him. Me.' 'And the alternative? You said he would have killed your partner.' 'Shot him in the back. He's got twenty years in. He was handcuffing another kid and didn't see what was going down. We had two witnesses who saw the whole thing. How can I make this right Bode? You always had the answers. I need an answer now.' 'You just thought I had the answers. You always did give me too much credit. You go on, Brie. Life goes on. Life is just too goddamn short for would-haves, could-haves and should-haves. You have to put it behind you. That's an order, Brie.' 'You are God, you know,' Brie hiccuped. 'When did this take place?' 'Six weeks ago tomorrow.' 'And you're just calling me NOW! Are you telling me you tried to ride this out by yourself? Did you call Callie or Sela?' 'No. Just you Bode.' 'I bet you're the best cop San Diego has.' Bode said generously. 'One of the guys brought over my gun and shield yesterday. They told me to take as much time off as I want. I said I'd let them know. By the way, I've been accepted into the FBI academy.' 'Then there's nothing to stop you from getting on a plane and heading for South Carolina. Congratulations! Are you on disability or what?' 'Nope. Full pay. It's not the money, Bode.' 'You know what they say kiddo - the past is prologue. Now, are you going to pack up and do what you have to to get down here?' 'I need some time...' 'You had enough time. Why didn't you call Mama Pearl?' 'Because hearing her voice would have done me in. I didn't want to cry again: I wanted to work it out by myself.' 'Is the shrink helping?' Brie laughed ruefully. 'We're up to the part where you're teaching us our numbers under the angel oak. It's very hard Bode.' 'Life is hard, Brie.' 'Are you referring to-' 'Life. Don't try putting words in my mouth, Brie. Now, can I call Callie and Mama Pearl and tell them you'll be coming to South Carolina?' 'Yes, but I don't know when. Thanks for listening Bode.' 'You should have called me on Day One.' 'On Day One I didn't even know my own name,' she said 'See? You should have called me and I would have told you. Sleep well, Brie. Today is a whole new day and it's going to be whatever you make of it.' 'Brie looked at the pinging receiver in her hand. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as she curled up in the big double bed. Now she knew she would sleep. Bode always made things right. In Summerville, South Carolina, Bode Jessup pulled on his jeans and sneakers. A hooded sweatshirt was next. A headache hammered behind his eyes as he wheeled his bike out of the apartment and into the alley. He climbed on, switched on his night light and pedaled away. He had a lot of thinking to do. Read about Fern's recent trip to Natchez, Mississippi, the location for Charming Lily! 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