Louisana State University Baton Rouge, Louisana 1986 Jane Lewis closed her book and heaved a huge sigh. If she didn't know the material now, she would never know it. She rubbed at her aching eyes with the palm of her hand, confident now that she would ace her last final in the morning. She looked down at her watch and sighed again. She'd spent the entire day and evening in the library without eating. She realized suddenly that she was hungry, starving actually. A third sigh escaped her lips when she thought about the weight she'd put on since coming here to LSU. Forty pounds to be exact. She was going to work out and take off the entire forty pounds plus ten more this summer if it was the last thing she did. It probably would be the last thing she did since she was so out of shape, she thought morosely. Jane turned when she felt a hand on her shoulder. "Is your name Jane and are you in Acadian Hall?" "Yes, I'm Jane Lewis. I've seen you from time to time but we were never introduced," Jane said standing up to offer her hand. "Connie Bryan. I'm on four. You're five, I think. I was wondering if you would mind if I walked with you if you're going back to the dorm. It's late and I hate walking alone. I hate to admit it but I'm a real scaredy cat" "Sure," Jane said gathering up her books. Connie Bryan was everything she ever wanted to be but could never be, petite, blonde, one hundred and five pounds and so popular she'd been voted Home Coming Queen. She also dated the star quarterback and rumor had it she was getting married in June. "You ready for graduation, Jane? I have two finals tomorrow and that's it. How about you?"the blonde said falling into step beside Jane. Jane blinked at the girl's obvious friendliness. "My last final is at eight. I feel pretty good about it. Is it true you're getting married after graduation?" "Yes. My mama is planning the wedding as we speak. She told me she was addressing the invitations tonight. The last fitting on my gown is Saturday. I can't wait. All I want to do is get married and have a whole house full of children. Todd does, too. I'm going to teach for a year or two before we start our family. How about you, Jane?" "I'm going on to medical school. Tulane. I'm anxious about that. I don't think I'm marriage material at least not yet. I want a career." "Commendable. Four years of college is enough for me. Do you have a speciality in mind?" "Pediatric medicine. I might switch up and just do general medicine. I'm not sure. Do you mind if I ask you a question?" Jane said wistfully. Connie laughed. "It's really dark out here, isn't it? Gives me the creeps. I'm so glad you're walking with me. What's the question?" Jane looked around. Normally the campus was a beehive of activity even this late in the evening. Tonight, though, with finals pretty much over, a lot of the students had already left, hence the quietness at this late hour. "A couple of the lights are out. I noticed it last night. My question is, how did it feel to be chosen Home Coming Queen?" "It was the second most exciting moment of my life. The first was meeting Todd and knowing I'd met my soul mate. Are you seeing anyone special?" Jane laughed. She wished she could think of something smart and witty to say to the pretty girl walking along with her. "No." "He just hasn't found you yet, Jane. The moment you look into someone's eyes and know that person is your destiny is like no other feeling in the world. Todd and I are going to have such a wonderful life. We have our house all picked out, the furniture, even the kitchen dishes and place mats. We want four children and neither one of us cares if they are boys or girls as long as they're healthy. We even picked out the names. I'm going to bake and decorate for the holidays. We're going to have Christmas trees in every room in the house. Todd and I both just love Christmas. We met right before Christmas break our first year here at LSU. I can't wait. I think about it all day and I dream about it every single night. God has certainly blessed me." "You're very lucky, Connie. I wish you all the happiness in the world," Jane said sincerely. They came out of the darkness like stalking wolves. At first it was hard to distinguish how many there were until they started to talk. Five and one hovering outside the immediate little group, Jane thought as the fine hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. Odd man out. Then she started to shake or was it Connie who had suddenly grabbed her arm in a vice like grip? "Well, lookee here, boys. We snagged us a real little beauty. The school beauty to be exact." "What . . What do you want? Leave us alone," Connie managed to squeak before a hand was clapped over her mouth as she was pulled away from the safety of Jane's plump arm. "Come on, you guys, cut it out. This isn't funny," Jane gasped, before a like hand was clamped over her own mouth. "It's not supposed to be funny so shut up. One more peep out of you and you'll get a chop to the neck. We have plans for Little Miss Home Coming Queen, don't we, guys?" Jane struggled to free herself but the arms holding her were muscular and hard. She knew in that moment escape was not an option. She watched in horror as three dark forms dragged Connie off the path and into dense shrubbery. "You can't do this," Jane whimpered behind the smelly hand knowing she was going to be next. "I thought I told you to shut up. We aren't interested in a fat tub of lard like you." Jane kicked backward hoping her Nike would meet flesh. It didn't. She felt a hard jab to her stomach and then one to her chest. She went limp with the pain. She sensed rather than saw the boy on the side lines leave. With the side of her face to the ground she could hear running feet. Maybe he wasn't one of them. Maybe he was going for help. It seemed like an eternity but in actuality it was only minutes before the boys traded places. A moment later she was free, kneeling on the ground, crying with pain knowing what was happening to Connie Bryan. She had to do something beside moan and whimper in pain. She struggled to her knees, anger rivering through her. The moment she was on her feet she screamed at the top of her lungs, the sound carrying in the quiet evening. She felt her head snap backward as a knee jabbed her into the small of her back. She bit down on the hand covering her mouth and knew she drew blood, knew she'd bitten the boy to the very bone. She spat the blood from her mouth. "What the hell . . ." "This goddamn beached whale needs a lesson. Which one of you wants her?" An oily voice offered. "No takers! Then I'll do it! Five bucks says this whale is a virgin." Jane struggled and fought her attackers as she felt cold hands lift her skirt in their search for her panties. "Fuck! She's on the rag! C'mon, we gotta get out of here!" She heard them leave, laughing and slapping each other on the back. She crawled over to the shrubbery to where they had taken Connie. She gathered the girl into her arms. Her head rolled listlessly. "Connie, I have to leave you here for a few minutes while I get help. I can keep screaming but it probably won't do any good. I'll be right back." "No!" the shaking girl whispered. "Don't tell anyone. Help me. I can walk. I just need to lean on you." "Let me get the campus police. They'll call the regular police. You need to go to a hospital or the crisis center." "No! Did they . . .?" "No, they were going to but I have my period. They didn't want any part of me until I screamed. They said I was too fat. I tried to get loose to help you but they held me down. Are you sure you can walk?" "I can walk. When we get close to the dorm, will you go inside and bring out a coat or something. Can I stay in your room, Jane? My room mate is still here." "Of course you can stay with me. You need to see a doctor, Connie. You have to report this. Are you listening to me?" "We'll talk about this later. Just get me inside and into the shower. Please, Jane." "You . . . you can't wash away the evidence, Connie. Listen, I know where the crisis center is. I can take you there right now. Please." "No. Not now. Be my friend and help me, please." "There's Acadian. Stay in the shadows and I'll run in and get my raincoat. Are you sure you're all right?" "No, I'm not all right. Will you hurry please." Jane lumbered off, her thoughts so chaotic she thought she was going to pass out. Pretty, petite Connie, gang raped. Tub of lard. Beached whale. Inside the dorm, Jane stepped into the elevator and rode it to her floor. She rummaged for her raincoat, her hairbrush and the empty bottle of Robitussen that she kept brandy in for the severe cramps she experienced every month. She galloped back down the hall not bothering to lock her door. The elevator was in use so she used the stairs. Students coming into the building stared at her, some of them shouting greetings while others mumbled and muttered about finals the following day. Jane ignored them all as she trundled to the spot where she'd left Connie. "Drink this, it's brandy. Take two long, hard pulls. Let me brush your hair. Now, slip into this coat and belt it so your torn clothing doesn't show. When you feel steady enough to walk, I want you to lean on me. There's some activity on the first floor. You can pretend you had too much to drink." "I don't drink, Jane." "Okay, we'll say you just feel sick. I don't like this. You need to see a doctor. Please, change your mind and let me call the authorities." "No, Jane, not now. Let's just get out of here, okay?" "All right, all right, but this is against everything I believe in. We can't let those guys get away with this." "We don't even know what they look like. I can tell you what they smelled like but not what they looked like. One of them made me swallow their semen. I threw up all over him." Jane wanted to cry. Her hold on Connie tightened. "There's the dorm. I only see a few people. Can you make it?" "Yes." "Then let's go. Someone turned the lights down. It must be after midnight. Good. The elevator is open. Just hold onto my arm. The minute Jane locked the door to her room, Connie slipped to the floor and curled into the fetal position. Hard, sobs racked her body. Jane dropped to the floor and stared at the young girl helplessly. "You can't let them get away with this, Connie. You just can't." "You know how that works, Jane. They were all jocks. They'll lie the way they always do. Campus rape is a fact of life. I can't identify them, that's the bottom line. I'm done crying now. Help me into the shower. Promise me you'll stand guard, okay?" "I promise. Connie, you can't wash what happened away?" "I can try. Do you think for one minute Todd would want to marry me once he found this out? He wouldn't. No man would. This is between us, Jane. If you tell, I'll deny it. I want you to understand that." "Then Todd isn't the person you think he is. You didn't invite that violation. You're a victim, dammit. If you do nothing, they get away with it. They'll do it to someone else." "Then it's their problem. I'll deal with my problem in my own way. I have two finals tomorrow and then I'm driving home. All I have to do is throw my suitcases in my car. I took the rest of my stuff home two weeks ago. I need a few hours sleep. Please don't look at me like that, Jane. Please. All I want right now is for you to be my friend and help me. Are you sure it's okay for me to sleep here tonight?" I don't have any extra sheets, just the ones on my bed. Like you, I took the rest of my stuff home a few weeks ago. I do have an extra blanket and you can use my raincoat for a cover unless you want me to go down to your room for your things. My stuff is going to be much too big for you." "Do you have an extra pair of pajamas, Jane? I'll worry about the rest of my stuff in the morning." "I wish you'd let me do something, Connie. I don't feel right about this." "I don't see that I have any other options right now. I'm doing what I have to do. Can we go to the bathroom now. Throw my clothes away, even my shoes." Jane opened a drawer and pulled out a brown paper grocery bag. "I'll take care of it." "I wish I'd taken the time to know you before all this happened, Jane. It's so strange. I trust you the way I trust Todd." "Obviously you don't trust him enough or you'd get help even if he finds out. This whole ugly scene could make your relationship stronger." "If you believe that for even one minute, I have a couple of bridges I can sell you. Make sure you don't let anyone in the bathroom." "I promise. I'll send everyone down to the next floor. Here's some soap, a towel and a wash cloth. I'll carry the pajamas." Ninety minutes later, Jane opened the bathroom door. Steam spiraled upward and then sailed out the open door. "Connie, you've been in there for ninety minutes. You need to come out now." "I don't feel clean yet. Just a while longer." Jane walked over to the shower and turned off the water. "All the showering in the world isn't going to make you feel clean unless you do something about it. You're going to need to talk to a counselor when you go home. Will you do that?" "I don't know. Probably not. It's a small town. People talk. How long do you think it will take for the bruises on my thighs and upper arms to go away?" "A week, maybe two. Slacks and long sleeves will take care of that. The bruises and the gouges are the least of your problems. I have a camera. Do you want me to take pictures of your bruises? The police do that all the time in rape cases. Just in case you change your mind and want to report the incident later on. "No. I'm not going to change my mind. What I would like is some more of that brandy so I can go to sleep. Did you lock the door?" "It's locked. Sleep in my bed, Connie. Don't argue, just do it." "How can I ever repay you for all your kindness to me this evening? Will you sit with me till I fall asleep?" "I'm sorry I couldn't do more. I'll sit right here until I'm sure you're asleep." "Do you know what one of those bastards said to me while he was raping me?" Connie said sleepily. "He said silence is golden." Jane's shoulders drooped. The minute she heard Connie's breathing even out, she started to shake. Like Connie, she wanted to curl into the fetal position and suck her thumb. She couldn't do that, though. She had to stay alert and watch over her new room mate in case she woke during the night. What she could do was roll up the arms and sleeves of Connie's pajamas and take pictures of her cuts and bruises. Just in case. She slipped the polaroids into the paper grocery bag without looking at them. Then Jane Lewis did something she hadn't done in a very long time. She prayed. ############# "This is it, kiddo, your big day!" Trixie McGuire, Jane's god mother said happily. "How does it feel to be graduating fifth in your class?" "It feels great. Trix, do you mind if I leave you for a few minutes. I have to find someone before all hell breaks loose." "Go ahead, honey. Fred and I will go to our seats and wait. Take all the time you need." Jane fought her way through happy, laughing students and their equally happy parents until she spotted someone she recognized who might know where Connie Bryan or Todd Prentice were?" She nudged a perky red head and asked, "Have you seen Connie Bryan or Todd Prentice?" The perky red head stared at Jane for a long minute. "Didn't you hear?" Jane looked up at the fluffy white clouds and the patches of deep blue sky over head. Her instincts told her whatever the red head was going to tell her, she wasn't going to like it. "Hear what?" she whispered fearfully. "Connie killed herself two weeks after the end of the term. Todd isn't coming to graduation. He's having a real hard time of it. Were you friends with Connie?" "Yes. Yes, I was," Jane stammered as she made her way through the crowd, tears streaming down her cheeks. She thought about the brown bag with Connie's clothes, shoes and pictures that she'd taken home with her and were now in Trixie's garage. Just in case. Next week she'd come back and file a report with the authorities. If it stirred up a can of worms with Connie's family and Todd, then it stirred up a can of worms. Both Connie's family and Todd deserved to know the why of her death. No death should be in vain. She wiped at her tears with the sleeve of the long, flowing gown as she took her place in the front of the graduation line. READ A REVIEW!!! Back to Chapter One Main Page newsflash / biography / bookshelf / contest my latest / complete list / my favorites / my suggestions chapter one / series list / my publisher / my blog the romance club / site map / contact Copyright ©1997-2008 by First Draft, Inc. All rights reserved.